Wednesday, March 24, 2010

drowning in self pitty....and mud.

I hate rain. Rain makes mud. I hate mud. I hate mud with a passion. The whole paddock is sloppy mucky suck your boot off mud. I hate it. The horses hate it too. I was able to let them out for a while this afternoon when the rain stopped but they just stood by the gate because the mud is too thick and deep to walk through. I don't know how to fix this. I don't have a tractor and anything I do by hand doesn't do anything. I can't even make a dent. It never used to be like this. I don't know what changed.

The barn is falling apart. The first guy who re-did the floors messed everything up so bad that the barn may fall down anytime. My horses are in that barn because the mud is so deep they can't find a dry spot to stand.

I need more time in the day to get things done, I need more energy. The horses need a good grooming because (surprise surprise) they are covered in mud. I need to remove mud and manure from the paddock. I need a new barn. I need more money. I need to try and relax.

I am having a hard time staying positive in all of this. I am just waiting for hoof and leg problems that this mud will cause. I am waiting for my barn to fall down. I am waiting for more rain to fall and for everything to be lost in a mudslide. I am waiting for everything to be ok. It could be worse, and I'm sure it will get worse. I have a ticking time bomb in the mud and the barn isn't any better.

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